Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Milestones, not millstones




Photos: My mom in Alaska; Gabe at 13; Gabe at 18; Gabe with his buddies before graduation.



This week marks three major milestones in my life. Today is my mom's 80th birthday, and if my husband was still alive, it would have been our 25th anniversary. Tomorrow my third child, Gabe, graduates from high school.
My mom is a wonderful woman. She prays for us and cares for us with devotion and love. Jewell Lee was born in Valdez, Alaska, was given a mine for her 6th birthday, and later her hometown slid into the sea during the tsunami of '64. I believed she was an Eskimo when I was little, and later learned that her grandmother actually was Aleutian! Her grandfather was a Russian Orthodox Priest. My mom has had a full life. She stayed home with us until I reached junior high, then became a realtor with my dad. She was raised a Christian Scientist and became a Christian while I was in high school. She oversaw the careful feeding of my dad, a life-long diabetic. At 82 and still going strong, my dad is a poster child for the diabetes association, and I give my mom much of the credit for his healthy, happy life. Her influence led me to stay home with my kids. I didn't work full time until Leo died, and even then I have continued to work out of my home so that I can be near little Leo, now 7. My mom took what she was given and made a beautiful life from it. I hope I will always do the same.

My own life changed when my husband died of a heart attack at age 41. I was pregnant, and we had great plans for more adventures for our family. I've tried to take what I have and give back to my kids what Leo and I would have given them together. Some things I have never been able to do again on a serious level, like kayaking and backpacking in the wilderness. But we did backpack together (all 5 of us!) for 9 weeks around Europe, and we've traveled to New York City and Budapest as well. Leo and I had 17 years of lovely marriage. I've had nearly 8 more years on my own, and although I miss him like crazy, I'm glad for all he gave us before he left that has enabled me to carry on.

Finally, Gabe finishes his high school years tomorrow night. I homeschooled Gabe through the 7th grade, though he took over most of his education after Leo died. I'm putting together a photo album for him, and I found a picture of him when he was 13 years old, asleep on the couch with two dictionaries and Chaucer under his arm. That sums up much of Gabe's education: always learning, reading, researching, recording. Gabe never let the loss of his dad stand in his way, or used it for an excuse. He is a scholar, an artist, and a dear, dear son and brother. His affection for Leo and the time he has spent with him could never be overstated. We will miss him so much!